They had buried Mort the Wart in the yard.
Of course, they had not actually buried Mort the Wart in the yard. Not all of Mort the Wart, for his head was sticking up out of the lawn. It had been necessary, though, to gag him. To put a stop to his yelling. The cries. The screams.
from "Close Only Counts When You're Doing Your Damnedest" by Jesper Wung-Sung.
Read the entire story in Absinthe #16.